12. Grothendieck's Family I

In this biographical account we have until now almost completely left out the life of Grothendieck's wife and children. Although discretion is appropriate, this essential part of his life must be taken into account. We will now catch up on the most important elements and give more detail in a later chapter.

Grothendieck's wife, Mireille Dufour, was a few years older than him, and originally came from Normandy. She had received secretarial training, and worked occasionally as an accountant. Lorenz G. said of her that she was a "person without a home" who was not anchored in the bourgeois world; Ebba P. experienced her as a strong and determined woman. As early as the fifties she must have spent time in Spain; she spoke Spanish very well, and apparently had contacts with Spanish anarchist networks. Presumably sometime around 1956, she met her future husband and his mother Hanka in these circles. In Volume I an account is given of how Alexander was obliged to promise his mother on her death bed to break off his relationship with Aline Driquert and marry Mireille. The marriage can not have been a happy one, at least not in a conventional sense. Grothendieck had sexual relations with other women, including domestic workers, and he brought his lovers to the family apartment and occasionally let them live there. Things went so far that in one case Mireille made a "pact" with one of these women in order to fend of the advances of a third one. 
	After Grothendieck's "turning point" the mutual relationship was not only tense, but hostile (at least on his side.) At first he refused to pay alimony, and addressed his ex-wife with the formal "vous." Around 1972 Mireille could not bear living in the house in Massy anymore, and she found herself an apartment in the dreary apartment blocks of the Paris suburbs. She was forced to start working again, and for twelve hours a day her two sons (around eleven and seven years old) were left to their own devices. The relationship improved only after the meeting with the Japanese monks in the middle of the seventies. A casual remark In a letter by Grothendieck indicates that the formal divorce only took place in 1981.
	In spite of all, Mireile could never completely break off from her former husband. It appears significant that soon after his move to Villecun she followed him, the main reason being that the two sons should, or wanted to be near their father. The same thing happened when Grothendieck later moved to Mormoiron.

In Volume I of this biography one also learns that Serge Grothendieck was the son of Grothendieck and Aline (Marcelle) Driquert, a woman much older than him, with whom he had a passing affair. The issue of custody led to severe disputes between the parents, which in 1962 escalated to legal proceedings. Serge grew up with his mother and spent the first thirteen years of his life in Nancy. In the Spring of 1967 his mother moved with him to Nice. Serge attended lyceum, but did not take the baccalaureate exams. Later he went to the art academy in Paris for two years, but again without graduating. He says that all in all he spent most of his time in Nice. He neither learned nor practiced a profession, but kept himself above water with temporary jobs. Around 1970 he increasingly came under the influence of his father; it has already been stated that he joined the group Survivre and helped his father in a few campaigns as a supporter. During this period he too  became a breakaway. According to himself, his life, measured against the usual criteria, is "the grandiose career of a complete loser."
	Serge never lived for longer periods in the commune of Olmet or in Villecun, but he belonged to the circle of these communes. He met the P.s and other commune members, particularly Jean-Claude Durand, and he also met the Buddhist monks there. He became a fervent disciple of the guru Maharaj (Prem Rawat); in a letter (from Christmas 1979) his father called him a "Guru-Maharaj-freak."

Johanna Grothendieck was born on 16 February 1959 in Boston, but spent only seventeen days of her life in the United States. Her mother returned to France after staying in the USA for about half a year. Johanna's parents were not yet married at that time, a fact which was quite a headache for the conservative community of Harvard. (How should one introduce Mireille Dufour to a colleague?) Johanna spent the last two years of primary school at a private school - her father had probably already grown skeptical of all public institutions.
	Beginning in 1969 Johanna spent a year in Hamburg - not with the Heydorn family as one might suppose, but with the family of Hans Vollmer and his wife, who lived in the same street. She visited the Heydorns almost every week however. Her parents had brought her to Hamburg, and on this occasion they naturally also visited with the Heydorn family. Johanna remembers "Aunt Dagmar" very fondly and affectionately.
	According to her own recollections, at the age of thirteen she felt school to be a "prison". Her father wrote letters to the school administration in order to be able to remove her from school. He claimed to be teaching her himself but in fact he never did so, not even one lesson. She also failed her first entry exam for the lyceum, of all things because of mathematics. She did not graduate and from the age of fourteen did not attend school anymore. Her father was of the opinion that school was superfluous, perhaps even harmful, and that everyone must find their own way.
	Johanna found her way at first more or less on the street, with corresponding experiences. Sometimes she lived with her mother, sometimes with her father and sometimes alone in the commune. Around that time, at fourteen, she fell in love with a boy with whom she stayed together for about four years. Later her situation became more stable, as will be described in a later chapter.

The sons Alexandre (born on 18 July 1961) and Matthieu (born on 23 April 1965) lived with their mother after the separation, and became self-sufficient very early. Alexandre attended school until the age of seventeen, Matthieu only until fourteen, and neither of them graduated. Alexandre learned the profession of electrician but only worked sporadically.

As this chapter deals with Grothendieck's family it is only appropriate to mention once again Grothendieck's half-sister Maidi, about whom a detailed account was given in Volume I. As far as the author knows, Maidi only came to Europe one more time in the seventies, namely in the Fall of 1978. Grothendieck first received a visit from Maidi's daughter Diana (then eighteen years old) and then from Maidi herself. He wrote about this meeting in a letter to Dagmar Heydorn dated 27 November 1978:

I was very pleased to have news of you again, on the occasion of Maidi's visit to you. Yes, Maidi roared through Europe like a rushing wind - so strongly, she says, is she drawn back into the so-called bosom of her family. But she so wanted, just one last time before the end of the world, to salute the older (and probably crumbling) branches of her existence, as a farewell, so to speak. The reunion with her was amicable - almost a rediscovery. That probably comes with the well-known serenity of age - I am now already half a century old and feel correspondingly wise. Even a woman hardly tempts me out of the chimney corner - that's how wise I am now, just imagine, Dagmar!
	At the beginning of September Diana was at my place for a couple of days too, Maidi's second daughter. She is a very alert young person, and loves Maidi with all her heart. She understands quite a bit, and her love for her mother is quite poignant.

One might not even quote these rather banal lines if Diana's memory (e-mail to the author) of this stay had not been completely different:

Concerning my visit to Shurik in 1978, this was very pleasant for me, but for Maidi it ended in disaster. I spent a crazy time in Villecun. He was very nice to me. Naturally he was condescending, but at eighteen years old I was too sure of myself to feel that. I met some of his friends. I would have thought of these as lovely memories, but after speaking with Y. in 2007 I realized how ignorant and immature I was. […]
	Once Shurik longed for Maidi so much that he sent her money for a visit. At first she hesitated, also because it was his money, but then she gave in. The first two days were fine, but then he left Maidi alone in his house, not with permission, but with the explicit request to read his letters. When he later came back he had a meltdown. He threw her out of the house, suitcase and all. He accused her of invading his private sphere, etc. From that moment on I can't remember a single sane moment. We still exchanged a couple of letters later on, but they got worse and worse. I didn't keep all of his letters because they were so horrible and contrary to the facts. Also Maidi received a few letters which she immediately threw away. I remember one that she didn't even open. She threw it straight into the garbage.

The rest of this letter will be quoted in Volume 4 of this biography. Grothendieck's relationship with his sister and her daughter ended with these visits and letters.